In August of 2008, I was a husband and new father who had inadvertently found a home at what was once a small, family-owned stone quarry out in Goochland County. I liked my coworkers, and the work I did. I had good mentors, and meaningful friendships at Luck Stone. The economy was a bit wobbly, but in the grand scheme of things life was pointed in the right direction. Until it wasn’t.
I’ve been thinking lately about the birth of Floricane 15 years ago (this November). A recent Washington Post opinion piece by cognitive scientist (and violinist) Maya Shankarframed that abrupt life transition in a new way for me. Shankar writes about imaginative courage, but she also shares her personal experience with unwanted change— in her case, when a popped tendon in her hand ended her career as a violinist.
“The violin had defined me for so long, and without it, I felt stuck. I would later learn that this experience is known as identity paralysis — and it happens to a lot of us when we experience unexpected, unwanted change: Who we think we are and what we’re about is suddenly called into question.”
I came home from Luck Stone for the last time the morning of November 12. I was still a husband and a new father, but all of the other elements of my life had, unexpectantly, changed.
But this missive is not about what I lost, or thought I lost, in that unwanted transition. It’s about what I gained.
Shankar continues in her piece:
“I realized that what I missed most about playing the violin was that it had given me a vehicle for connecting emotionally with others. It turned out that this was at the root of my passion for music. And a hopeful message emerged from this insight: Although I had lost the ability to play the violin, I could still find this underlying love of human connection in other pursuits.”
At Luck, I had found a home, a community, work that I was becoming good at doing. But I also had found the beginnings of a purpose, one that surfaced in a more expansive and meaningful way when I started Floricane.
At our best, Shankar suggests, we are not what, but why. Centering your life around what drives you, what lights you up, that’s the discovery Shankar unpacks in her second career as a cognitive scientist.
Reflecting on these past 15 years, it’s amazing and uplifting to see – and have experienced — the myriad of ways an unexpected change in the fall of 2008 catalyzed the passions I was just discovering and allowed them to deepen and flourish.
Today, I have so many ways to connect with new people and new communities, to uncover perspectives and ideas with organizations, to surface new ways to think about and act on the future. Every single day holds new conversations filled with possibility.
Shankar’s invitation: Look for opportunities to practice imaginative courage, remember that why you do something is more important than what you do and, whenever possible, try and seek out awe.
I’m pretty clear on my why. Perhaps it’s time to explore imaginative courage, and to bring awe back into my life.
- John